Tag: personal growth
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As has been done multiple times, I’ve circled back again lately. Not in a literal sense, but emotionally. I’ve had some incredible new experiences in the recent months and years – moments that should have filled me to the brim. And yet, there’s this familiar ache, this kind of hollow space that just… persists. It’s a feeling when you’re supposed to be soaring, but you still feel a bit grounded and stuck. And then, you still push through, try new things, meet new people, and open yourself up to different perspectives, and believe it’ll be different this time, but it… […] continue reading
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The moment I start to think about doing something new (and mostly important) – a whole squad of expectations bursts onto the scene (like Micah Richards did many times), setting up camp in my head before I’ve even taken a single step. My brain hitches a ride on a time machine, races into the future, designs the “perfect” outcome and then presents it to me as the only acceptable reality. And me? I’m still back here, figuring out which foot to put forward first. Such self-imposed blueprints with vivid imaginings of how things should go arrive so fully formed that… […] continue reading
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There are always big and scary things on the horizon that I don’t want to deal with, but you should not be shocked when I say I’m really good at that. Like, award-winningly good. And sometimes, it just feels so comfy, like pulling a warm blanket over my head on a chilly winter morning. Deep down, I know that the thing isn’t going to magically disappear. It definitely isn’t going to fix itself, either. Yet, I push it down, and there’s this lovely sense of peace for a little while. When the time is right, I’ll face what I need… […] continue reading
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It’s been a constant background hum in my life. It’s not about being not good enough or perfect. It’s just I am never satisfied with what I am doing. The act itself, and not the result of it. Like, never. I’d start something I thought I wanted to do, and for a hot minute, maybe a day or two, there is this little spark of… something. But then, poof. It is gone, and the wanting starts all over again. And you know what I’m starting to realize? This constant state of not being okay with my actions is actually more… […] continue reading
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So, I’ve been thinking. A lot. Like, really thinking. Do you know those moments when you look down at the phone screen at 3 pm and suddenly wrestle with the big questions? Yeah, those. These are the ones that mostly come these days after scrolling through things on the internet (It’s not always on the internet. That’s just the space around where I get mine). I hear people often call it an “existential crisis”. Sounds dramatic. Scary, even. People really don’t want to go through it. But what if we flipped that around? What if, instead of a crisis, we… […] continue reading
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I got laid off 2 weeks ago. As an individual contributor, structural changes necessitated by circumstances can’t always be avoided. Did it get stressful after that? Not at the start. I was full of energy for the first week, but then it dawned upon me and the second week was very stressful. Was this my personal failure? No, but yes. My work didn’t lead to my layoff. But my work didn’t also save me from getting laid off. I have two choices now: get another job or pursue further studies. I seek answers and will have mine soon enough (from… […] continue reading
