Category: Personal Notes
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There is a sacred moment between night and day when I can meditate in solitude while being present in the natural world. There is no human interference at that time, as most people are still sleeping. No one is up except for the early rising birds who can now sing without being diluted by the traffic, machines or just humans talking over each other. Even though this peace is temporary and I will soon live through my chaos among the human society, there is profound beauty in feeling one with the self without having to act or impose the expectations… […] continue reading
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Growing up in the early 2000s, the stories of astronauts Rakesh Sharma, Kalpana Chawla, and Sunita Williams (an American astronaut of Indian origin) were woven into my childhood textbooks. Later, as a teenager, I discovered Ravish Malhotra, another pioneer whose name deserved wider recognition but never received it. After these icons, there has been a long gap. An entire generation of children grew up without any Indian launching into space. The sense of scientific pride associated with human spaceflight faded over the years, even as the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) achieved remarkable success in uncrewed missions, placing satellites and… […] continue reading
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As has been done multiple times, I’ve circled back again lately. Not in a literal sense, but emotionally. I’ve had some incredible new experiences in the recent months and years – moments that should have filled me to the brim. And yet, there’s this familiar ache, this kind of hollow space that just… persists. It’s a feeling when you’re supposed to be soaring, but you still feel a bit grounded and stuck. And then, you still push through, try new things, meet new people, and open yourself up to different perspectives, and believe it’ll be different this time, but it… […] continue reading
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The moment I start to think about doing something new (and mostly important) – a whole squad of expectations bursts onto the scene (like Micah Richards did many times), setting up camp in my head before I’ve even taken a single step. My brain hitches a ride on a time machine, races into the future, designs the “perfect” outcome and then presents it to me as the only acceptable reality. And me? I’m still back here, figuring out which foot to put forward first. Such self-imposed blueprints with vivid imaginings of how things should go arrive so fully formed that… […] continue reading
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There are always big and scary things on the horizon that I don’t want to deal with, but you should not be shocked when I say I’m really good at that. Like, award-winningly good. And sometimes, it just feels so comfy, like pulling a warm blanket over my head on a chilly winter morning. Deep down, I know that the thing isn’t going to magically disappear. It definitely isn’t going to fix itself, either. Yet, I push it down, and there’s this lovely sense of peace for a little while. When the time is right, I’ll face what I need… […] continue reading
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Some friendships end without fireworks, and there are no big dramatic showdowns. Just… fading. Like turning down the volume on a song so slowly that you barely notice it going quiet until it’s almost silent. You are close, for a while, really close. Sharing jokes, secrets, and late-night talks that feel like they hold all the answers to the universe (or at least, to our world and its problems). And then… life, I guess. It’s always life, isn’t it? Different paths started appearing, pulling us in different directions. No arguments, harsh words, nothing you could point to when asked for… […] continue reading
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It’s been a constant background hum in my life. It’s not about being not good enough or perfect. It’s just I am never satisfied with what I am doing. The act itself, and not the result of it. Like, never. I’d start something I thought I wanted to do, and for a hot minute, maybe a day or two, there is this little spark of… something. But then, poof. It is gone, and the wanting starts all over again. And you know what I’m starting to realize? This constant state of not being okay with my actions is actually more… […] continue reading
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So, I’ve been thinking. A lot. Like, really thinking. Do you know those moments when you look down at the phone screen at 3 pm and suddenly wrestle with the big questions? Yeah, those. These are the ones that mostly come these days after scrolling through things on the internet (It’s not always on the internet. That’s just the space around where I get mine). I hear people often call it an “existential crisis”. Sounds dramatic. Scary, even. People really don’t want to go through it. But what if we flipped that around? What if, instead of a crisis, we… […] continue reading
