There are always big and scary things on the horizon that I do not want to deal with, but you should not be shocked when I say I am really good at that. Like, award-winningly good. And sometimes, it just feels so comfy, like pulling a warm blanket over my head on a chilly winter morning.
Deep down, I know that the thing is not going to magically disappear. It definitely is not going to fix itself, either. Yet, I push it down, and there is this lovely sense of peace for a little while. When the time is right, I will face what I need to face. The world will not end if I take an extra day (or month) to figure things out.
And maybe that is the trick—learning to recognise when to wait and when to move. Knowing that postponing a problem is not always about fear or laziness but sometimes about giving myself the chance to grow into a person who can handle it.
But the longer I keep ignoring it, the more space it takes up in my mind. Soon, it turns into this background hum of anxiety. And if it is not fear, I may be feeling overwhelmed. Or it is because facing things head-on feels hard when I know I signed up for the wrong thing. So then I tell myself I will figure out how to escape this and not fall for it again.
